Last night, the Indianapolis Colts forgot how to catch a football.

"It was amazing," said Manning, "I kept throwing, and the receivers couldn't have caught a tortoise if it bit their laces and held on like a pit bull."

The Superbowl was done the moment Manning threw an interception.

There are rumors that the Saints snuck into the Colts' locker room and greased the receivers' gloves.

NBC caused quite a stir this week by honoring black history month in an unusual way.



It's not as bad as it looks, though. As it turns out, an African American cook was behind the choices, or at least NBC found one willing to claim she was.



Still, the picture's danged funny.

From the country that brought you stab proof knives (I kid you not), a new idea has hatched. Kind of like bug eggs in someone's brain.

Below: A stab proof knife. No way anybody could slash with it. Or use a file to make it a stabby knife.


A British official is praising a pair of prototype shatterproof pint glasses being tested for their durability to reduce injuries from bar violence.

Home Secretary Alan Johnson said the glasses, created by company Design Bridge, are aimed at curbing the estimated 87,000 broken-glass attacks in Britain each year, The Independent reported Friday.

"Having that weapon in your hand is an enormous part of why these injuries take place in the first instance," Johnson said.

Johnson said the first prototype, dubbed "Glass Plus," is single layer of glass with a resin coating on the inside, and the second, "Thin Wall," features two layers of glass held together by resin. He said the designs were based on the windshields of cars.

"I'm really excited!" exclaimed one slightly inebriated pub patron. "When a fight breaks out, I can now bash someone with my pint glass and not worry about it breaking and cutting me!"

Mr. Johnson went on to say they're considering banning sticks and rocks next. "People have been hurting each other with these things for millennia. I think it's high time we did something about it. Oh, and dirt clods, too. Those hurt."

Clinician Bilsko, when asked about the idea said, "Pint glass? Who uses the glass? That's what bottles and great big claymore swords are for. If they think shatter-resistant glasses will stop a good Demo from doing violence, they're terribly mistaken."

We all know the internet can be a dangerous place. We just didn't know how dangerous.



We're told this might be Irving.

It's Groundhog Day, and guess what? Punxsutawney Phil, Groundhog in Chief, indicated that he had seen his shadow after emerging from his temporary burrow, so we're in for a long winter. Not that anybody who's noticed the record cold temperatures globally this year is surprised.

Phil's prediction isn't without some controversy, however. PETA was appalled that American society is continuing our barbaric treatment of this fine large rodent. "These normally shy animals -- who are constantly on alert when they are out of their burrows -- become stressed when they are exposed to large, screaming crowds; flashing lights from perhaps hundreds of cameras; and human handling..." wrote PETA's animals-in-entertainment specialist, Gemma Vaughan. PETA wants Phil replaced by a robotic groundhog.

The Altoona (Penn.) Mirror had a different take on the story: "We agree with William Deeley, president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, who said Phil is 'being treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania.' Indeed, Phil is treated like a king, surely the envy of all of his fellow groundhogs."

With all this controversy, intrepid Clinic reporter ACG, who speaks fluent rodent, snuck in to see Phil and ask him how he felt about it all. "I'm a rockstar," said Punxsutawney Phil. "Nobody's trying to eat me, I get free food and a warm bed. I want to live the way nature intended about as much as you want to get fragged by Drew the Pirate or shot in the head by Firethem. Somebody shut these PETA idiots up before I get turned out in the cold."



For more on the story, and history of Groundhog Day, visit the National Geographic Daily News.