New Dangers Discovered on the Internet
We all know the internet can be a dangerous place. We just didn't know how dangerous.We're told this might be Irving.
It's going to be a long, cold winter
It's Groundhog Day, and guess what? Punxsutawney Phil, Groundhog in Chief, indicated that he had seen his shadow after emerging from his temporary burrow, so we're in for a long winter. Not that anybody who's noticed the record cold temperatures globally this year is surprised.
Phil's prediction isn't without some controversy, however. PETA was appalled that American society is continuing our barbaric treatment of this fine large rodent. "These normally shy animals -- who are constantly on alert when they are out of their burrows -- become stressed when they are exposed to large, screaming crowds; flashing lights from perhaps hundreds of cameras; and human handling..." wrote PETA's animals-in-entertainment specialist, Gemma Vaughan. PETA wants Phil replaced by a robotic groundhog.
The Altoona (Penn.) Mirror had a different take on the story: "We agree with William Deeley, president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, who said Phil is 'being treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania.' Indeed, Phil is treated like a king, surely the envy of all of his fellow groundhogs."
With all this controversy, intrepid Clinic reporter ACG, who speaks fluent rodent, snuck in to see Phil and ask him how he felt about it all. "I'm a rockstar," said Punxsutawney Phil. "Nobody's trying to eat me, I get free food and a warm bed. I want to live the way nature intended about as much as you want to get fragged by Drew the Pirate or shot in the head by Firethem. Somebody shut these PETA idiots up before I get turned out in the cold."
For more on the story, and history of Groundhog Day, visit the
National Geographic Daily News.